My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Song: The Chase by SOHN
There’s not enough stars to give this book
Have you ever found a book that was totally and completely yours? The one you didn’t ever want to share with anyone because no one can possibly feel it the way you do? Have you? That’s how I feel about this book.
It didn’t start out that way though, it was just a book about a girl pining after her friend’s boyfriend when I added it to my To Read List. I never expected to feel such kinship to Helena, never expected my own burried feelings to swim back to surface. Because that’s what this book did for me – it braught back the memories and thoughts and that sense of helplessness, when you love someone you shouldn’t love. In some way I was Helena and her story at times felt like my own, seen through the prism of someone else’s writing. But then in some way I maybe have some of Greer in me. I think most of us had someone like Kit in their lives, maybe you got to be with that person and maybe you didn’t. I didn’t. But I had moments in time, similar if not identical to what Helena had. It really hit close to home, this one.
The writing was so effortless and fluid, and the author got so much into this book without it being crammed, that I felt like I lived a whole life on its pages. The characters are real and so amazingly vivid that I couldn’t help but feel their emotions with them. It doesn’t happen for me often with books.
I won’t tell you about all the characters, because that would give away to much of the plot and I still think that you should give this book a try. Because I don’t know you and I won’t have to know you read it so I won’t have to share it with you. So here goes.
Helena was, understandably, my favourite. She started out not very likable though. Some might judge her for wanting her best friend’s boyfriend, and some might think she’s a terrible person for doing the things she shouldn’t have and all because of The Dream. But the thing is, she’s not terrible or cruel or envious. She’s been a pretty great friend, selfless and understanding and forgiving. She took a lot of shit from Della, knowingly or unknowingly, and still loved that girl enough to torture herself and do things for her that went against her self preservation. The moment she packed her bags to go away from that life and Della, she finally started to discover her true self in my opinion.
I feel conflicted about Kit. Maybe because I want to hate him for what he did to these girls and maybe because I can’t really hate him. From our early childhood it’s drilled into us that men are supposed to be strong and brave and make the tough decisions and be the rock we could rely on, but the truth is – men sometimes are just as weak and make all the wrong decisions because it’s easier. Sometimes Kit acts so selfish about the whole thing, like he knows what he’s doing is wrong and he just doesn’t care. Sometimes I don’t even think he knows why he does what he does, like maybe he does it just to see what it would be like. Other times it feels like he’s in a corner he can’t get out of and you can’t help but feel for him. I think, maybe, he’s the most lost one.
Della is the girl everyone thinks is perfect, untill you look closer. She’s the pretty, bubbly, fun, easy to fall in love with person. And then you start to see the things that are hidden under all of that. She’s needy and insecure, self absorbed and jelous, used to being the prettiest girl in the room and getting things her way, and frankly I couldn’t understand how on earth she and Helena became friends. I didn’t like her whatsoever. There were probably some redeeming qualities to her character, but I just didn’t find them.
There were times where I thought the book would end differently, and honestly after all the personal growth on Helena’s part, I would have been happy either way. This ending however was bittersweet for me personally and I’ll live it at that.
Over and out